Post by Bakura on Aug 10, 2006 15:24:28 GMT -5
Over all Warnings: Yaoi, knowing me...probably. Het, maybe. Yuri, oh hell anything's possible. Relentless swearing, followed by Yami and Toaster abuse (by Bakura), definately.
Entry one: Bakura
First off, who in their right mind would be writing in a pathetic little book like this? Willingly. Oh hell don't tell me you thought it was MY idea! Let's get this straight in the beginning! Ryou conned me into 'expressing my feelings on paper with a pencil and not on the pharaoh's face with a razor'. Now what the hell? Ruin ALL of my fun why don't you hikari.
But yes, and so what does he do? He gives me a PURPLE notbook! PURPLE! Like I wouldn't argue against it! Tch, what does he take me for! I'm supposed to be the villinous creature of darkness! A purple 'diary' doesn't fit into that very well...But hell, I've already started so I might as well give you the up-to-date on the life of me.
I'm currently in the kitchen. Yes the kitchen. Hikari is out playing with Yugi. And the Pharaoh? Where do you think they left him? Can ya guess? WITH ME! Oh my god, Yugi must be plotting Yami's death, for him to willingly leave him with me! Baka pharaoh!
And it doesn't help that he's laughing at me. Stupid f**king toaster! Even when I set it to the lowest it still turns my bread BLACK! Ra forsake it all, I wanted Toast! Not charcoal. d**n modern devices...I'm telling you they're justing waiting til I let my guard down..So they can ALL attack at once! The bastards!
Which brings me to another topic. Marik seems to have developed a fond liking to microwaves...and small animals...Malik was flipping out when he walked into the Ishtar house and his yami, being the sicko that he is, up and blew the microwave door off...I told him, there are certain things you don't put in microwaves...Like eggs, aluminum foil, and small living creatures...So what does he do? He does a combo and plays with all three...The idiot.
Whoa whoa whoa, pharaoh, what the hell do you mean I have this blasted thing set on high? The Pharaoh's now patronizing me for my lack of toaster knowledge.
NO pharaoh, it's not set on high! That bar DOESN'T look bigger than the other one! What the hell do you mean the bars don't matter! What are they there for then! They're a decoration? Oh...
...You know what, shut the hell up or I'll make you EAT this toaster! Or worse, I'll go get Anzu. And tell her that you need a friend. Yes, that's right pharaoh. I'll go THAT far!
Guh, d**n pharaoh. Why me? Why couldn't I have just...died! Maybe I could flirt with Seto a bit and he'd let me 'borrow' his sniper team...Or I'm sure I could get that from Pegasus...Which ever came first. Probably Seto...He's a little hotter in my opinion, no offense Pegsy. Besides, I'm sure Seto's open to abusing Yami.
Of course that might make Jou angry...He's after Seto...Even though he gets blatantly rejected...Poor Jou...I'd put in a good word for you. You're probably thinking what the hell? You're supposed to hate the pharaoh's friends! Well...I do..except Yugi and Jou...I more or less pity Yugi. And Jou likes to fight...So he's alright...But not that...THAT GIRL! AUGH! She's EVIL! The BAD kind! Let's all be friends! She says...I just wanna smack her. And the kid who looks like he fell asleep in a corner. I don't know his name...He's friends with Jou...
I'm still hearing the pharaoh laughing at me...Stupid palace brat.
CRASH!
That's the sound of me throwing the toaster on the floor, then kicking it up, so that it smacks him against the side of the head. Take that Pharaoh! You can laugh while half conscious on the floor. Go ahead! So I can step on your face!
d**n it...Hikari's back with Yugi...That means he's going to chew me out for beating up that baka...In that loving Ryou-like way...d**n it...
I'm closing this book and I'm going to throw it in a the garbage disposal...Okay fine I'm not. But if you're reading this and I catch you, I'll first make you EAT this book, then I'll send YOU to the shadow realm.
d**n PURPLE book...
xxx
Leo: Okay! How was that for Random Bakura-ness? Well, Next up is going to be Pegasus! That should be very amusing!
Entry One: Pegasus
You all know what day it is, don’t you? Of course you do. My birthday! Yes! Truly, it is! And of course, I don’t expect the entire world to come out with presents, that would be so very ego-tistical. I’m not dear Kaiba-boy… just a few thousand of you would do nicely…
In fact, I’m already using my most favoritist present! Under the masterwork oil painting of my beloved Toon Mermaid, the fine Roquefort cheese, and a case of first-edition Funny Bunny… I found this. A journal!
It was pink! Pink, and furry! With a plush Funny Bunny on the front! And it came with a matching pink pen with a pink fluff and googly eyeballs on top! I was naturally excited. For some reason, this startled Croquet, who came barging in with his gun drawn, believing that someone had smuggled rabid fangirls into my gift piles… I’m sure I don’t know what he’s talking about. My scream is not at all girlish.
Anyways, after throwing my stuffed Manga Ryu-Ran at him, and successfully bouncing it off his head, I started writing. And now, here I am, recounting events just a few moments after they occur! What fun!
I believe I ought to go eat something. Croquet looks at me oddly as I walk out the door. Rude little man. There! I throw a Funny Bunny plushie at him on my way out for good measure. I need some new people around here, because nobody on my staff appreciates me... sniff ...The lights in this hallway makes the pages look green. I think I’ll glare at them, because I don’t like green today…
… A maid just told me to please not write as I walk down the stairs. It’s making her nervous… Oh well. She can live with her anxiety…
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
Oops. Perhaps I ought to have listened. I’ll have to get Croquet to fix that banister… and look at what it did to my poor journal! A whole half-page wasted with a scribble! I’ll have to have Croquet burn that banister instead…
“What are we…” oh. The chef can’t hear me write. I forgot about that. Only you can… I need some telepathic friends. So, now I’m asking him out loud what’s for breakfast. He says whatever I want, of course. Well… in that case… I order some cold pizza. What? What do you mean it’ll take an hour? Oh. We have no cold pizza. He’ll have to make a fresh one, and then chill it. Fine. I’ll take a kiwi fruit until it’s ready.
And I suddenly realize that kiwi juice and pink fur don’t mix well. I’ll have to put down the journal…
I’m getting a bit teary. I like my new toy… Don’t worry, little friend, I’ll never abandon you… you can live in my pocket! Right next to Toon World, a ball of tinfoil from a limited edition Funny Bunny chocolate bar, and my lucky beetle.
xxx
Entry one: Malik
You know what? I feel like a fool. I mean who writes in a diary? But it was either this or "talking" out my problems. See why now? So let’s get one thing straight while I’m at it. Isis does not PMS once a month. She’s a pregnant dog year round people and it’s her fault that I’m doing this. If you ask me this is making me more cracked than I already am.
It does have a pretty picture on the front though. I mean the Winged Dragon of Ra with a black background too! It’s so cool! Not that I’m some little kid who just learned that coloring on the walls will get your parents mad so they do it anyways. Nope I’m not like that. I swear.
So is this there where I tell my problems because I don’t trust this book. I mean the next thing you know I’ll have Isis on my case about what I write. She’s nosy to might I add. I mean how dare they think that I’d trust such a simple book. I almost took over the world! That’s right tremble in fear I’m that powerful AND good looking. Until for some stupid reason (personally I think it was an overdose of the shadow realm) I helped the pharaoh. Ra what was I thinking.
Let’s get another thing straight. The pharaoh is hot. And if he didn’t act like my rod was up his ass (what a thought) I could consider liking him. But we all know that’s not happening. Ever. The day it happens Bakura stops stealing...yeah I didn’t think so either.
Yet another reason not to be writing all of this down. Knowing him he’d steal it just to piss me off somehow. Like when he decided that I would look pretty burning. Oh what an experience I don’t need to get into.
He’s hot too. Almost as hot as me, but it’s ok that he’s not I’m tough to overcome. You know I can hear him laughing now. I don’t think that was funny. It’s true. I’m hot...right..I mean of course I am. d**n You Voices Get Out Of My Head!
Anyways, he was a good partner but I think he needs to get those issues of his checked out. Seriously, ever hear of bloodlust? Yeah the guy goes crazy over it. I’m surprised he’s not locked up with Anzu or something. Hold on momentarily and let me gag. I think that would just make him suffer more and no one know matter what they’ve done deserves that as a punishment.
Think, I’ve been in that girl’s mind. I know that’s more horrifying than...anything. There really wasn’t anything too take over either. I swear how did Yugi stand her. Oh that’s right...he’s nice. (Please tell me you caught a hint of sarcasm there).
Ok maybe I should’ve thought this out. I mean who writes in a journal under a tree? Do you know of the bad things in this world? To start off lets think of the ants. I mean you all thought squirrels were bad but apparently you haven’t been bit by an ant. They’re vicious! I mean I can’t even have a picnic without being attacked by red ants and having black ones steal my food. It’s a personal battle.
Wait a minute is that the mutt (stole it from Kaiba give all credit to him). Haha! It is, this is so great. Look at him trying to act tough. I think it’s funny especially since he’s a few trees down watching Seto who’s on the bench below reading...a romance novel. I’m not even going to comment on that.
I think Seto has some weird kink fantasies though. Come on, he nicknamed Jou pup. Tell me that doesn’t have a hidden meaning. I thought so.
Drop!
Drop!
Drop!
Drop!
I’m sure you can all guess what’s happening. A dreadful little thing known as rain. Oh yes I’m just so thrilled since Isis dropped me off and won’t be back until much later. Of course I could’ve drove to if I wasn’t staring at Honda’s hair making me crash into a road block. Seriously though his hair is something to stare at.
Drop!
I get the message I need to find somewhere to go. Alright think fast, let’s show those red heads there is more to a blonde than the word like.
Hmm, well running in the rain sure isn’t fun...wait a minute oh great the Game Shop.
Drop!
I hate the people up there sometime. Better yet they hate me. No I refuse to. Stop you legs. Curse You!
Sadly, one of things I’m thinking of is how Jou and that tree are doing.
Drop!
Fine I’m shutting the book now.
xxx
Entry one: Bakura
First off, who in their right mind would be writing in a pathetic little book like this? Willingly. Oh hell don't tell me you thought it was MY idea! Let's get this straight in the beginning! Ryou conned me into 'expressing my feelings on paper with a pencil and not on the pharaoh's face with a razor'. Now what the hell? Ruin ALL of my fun why don't you hikari.
But yes, and so what does he do? He gives me a PURPLE notbook! PURPLE! Like I wouldn't argue against it! Tch, what does he take me for! I'm supposed to be the villinous creature of darkness! A purple 'diary' doesn't fit into that very well...But hell, I've already started so I might as well give you the up-to-date on the life of me.
I'm currently in the kitchen. Yes the kitchen. Hikari is out playing with Yugi. And the Pharaoh? Where do you think they left him? Can ya guess? WITH ME! Oh my god, Yugi must be plotting Yami's death, for him to willingly leave him with me! Baka pharaoh!
And it doesn't help that he's laughing at me. Stupid f**king toaster! Even when I set it to the lowest it still turns my bread BLACK! Ra forsake it all, I wanted Toast! Not charcoal. d**n modern devices...I'm telling you they're justing waiting til I let my guard down..So they can ALL attack at once! The bastards!
Which brings me to another topic. Marik seems to have developed a fond liking to microwaves...and small animals...Malik was flipping out when he walked into the Ishtar house and his yami, being the sicko that he is, up and blew the microwave door off...I told him, there are certain things you don't put in microwaves...Like eggs, aluminum foil, and small living creatures...So what does he do? He does a combo and plays with all three...The idiot.
Whoa whoa whoa, pharaoh, what the hell do you mean I have this blasted thing set on high? The Pharaoh's now patronizing me for my lack of toaster knowledge.
NO pharaoh, it's not set on high! That bar DOESN'T look bigger than the other one! What the hell do you mean the bars don't matter! What are they there for then! They're a decoration? Oh...
...You know what, shut the hell up or I'll make you EAT this toaster! Or worse, I'll go get Anzu. And tell her that you need a friend. Yes, that's right pharaoh. I'll go THAT far!
Guh, d**n pharaoh. Why me? Why couldn't I have just...died! Maybe I could flirt with Seto a bit and he'd let me 'borrow' his sniper team...Or I'm sure I could get that from Pegasus...Which ever came first. Probably Seto...He's a little hotter in my opinion, no offense Pegsy. Besides, I'm sure Seto's open to abusing Yami.
Of course that might make Jou angry...He's after Seto...Even though he gets blatantly rejected...Poor Jou...I'd put in a good word for you. You're probably thinking what the hell? You're supposed to hate the pharaoh's friends! Well...I do..except Yugi and Jou...I more or less pity Yugi. And Jou likes to fight...So he's alright...But not that...THAT GIRL! AUGH! She's EVIL! The BAD kind! Let's all be friends! She says...I just wanna smack her. And the kid who looks like he fell asleep in a corner. I don't know his name...He's friends with Jou...
I'm still hearing the pharaoh laughing at me...Stupid palace brat.
CRASH!
That's the sound of me throwing the toaster on the floor, then kicking it up, so that it smacks him against the side of the head. Take that Pharaoh! You can laugh while half conscious on the floor. Go ahead! So I can step on your face!
d**n it...Hikari's back with Yugi...That means he's going to chew me out for beating up that baka...In that loving Ryou-like way...d**n it...
I'm closing this book and I'm going to throw it in a the garbage disposal...Okay fine I'm not. But if you're reading this and I catch you, I'll first make you EAT this book, then I'll send YOU to the shadow realm.
d**n PURPLE book...
xxx
Leo: Okay! How was that for Random Bakura-ness? Well, Next up is going to be Pegasus! That should be very amusing!
Entry One: Pegasus
You all know what day it is, don’t you? Of course you do. My birthday! Yes! Truly, it is! And of course, I don’t expect the entire world to come out with presents, that would be so very ego-tistical. I’m not dear Kaiba-boy… just a few thousand of you would do nicely…
In fact, I’m already using my most favoritist present! Under the masterwork oil painting of my beloved Toon Mermaid, the fine Roquefort cheese, and a case of first-edition Funny Bunny… I found this. A journal!
It was pink! Pink, and furry! With a plush Funny Bunny on the front! And it came with a matching pink pen with a pink fluff and googly eyeballs on top! I was naturally excited. For some reason, this startled Croquet, who came barging in with his gun drawn, believing that someone had smuggled rabid fangirls into my gift piles… I’m sure I don’t know what he’s talking about. My scream is not at all girlish.
Anyways, after throwing my stuffed Manga Ryu-Ran at him, and successfully bouncing it off his head, I started writing. And now, here I am, recounting events just a few moments after they occur! What fun!
I believe I ought to go eat something. Croquet looks at me oddly as I walk out the door. Rude little man. There! I throw a Funny Bunny plushie at him on my way out for good measure. I need some new people around here, because nobody on my staff appreciates me... sniff ...The lights in this hallway makes the pages look green. I think I’ll glare at them, because I don’t like green today…
… A maid just told me to please not write as I walk down the stairs. It’s making her nervous… Oh well. She can live with her anxiety…
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
Oops. Perhaps I ought to have listened. I’ll have to get Croquet to fix that banister… and look at what it did to my poor journal! A whole half-page wasted with a scribble! I’ll have to have Croquet burn that banister instead…
“What are we…” oh. The chef can’t hear me write. I forgot about that. Only you can… I need some telepathic friends. So, now I’m asking him out loud what’s for breakfast. He says whatever I want, of course. Well… in that case… I order some cold pizza. What? What do you mean it’ll take an hour? Oh. We have no cold pizza. He’ll have to make a fresh one, and then chill it. Fine. I’ll take a kiwi fruit until it’s ready.
And I suddenly realize that kiwi juice and pink fur don’t mix well. I’ll have to put down the journal…
I’m getting a bit teary. I like my new toy… Don’t worry, little friend, I’ll never abandon you… you can live in my pocket! Right next to Toon World, a ball of tinfoil from a limited edition Funny Bunny chocolate bar, and my lucky beetle.
xxx
Entry one: Malik
You know what? I feel like a fool. I mean who writes in a diary? But it was either this or "talking" out my problems. See why now? So let’s get one thing straight while I’m at it. Isis does not PMS once a month. She’s a pregnant dog year round people and it’s her fault that I’m doing this. If you ask me this is making me more cracked than I already am.
It does have a pretty picture on the front though. I mean the Winged Dragon of Ra with a black background too! It’s so cool! Not that I’m some little kid who just learned that coloring on the walls will get your parents mad so they do it anyways. Nope I’m not like that. I swear.
So is this there where I tell my problems because I don’t trust this book. I mean the next thing you know I’ll have Isis on my case about what I write. She’s nosy to might I add. I mean how dare they think that I’d trust such a simple book. I almost took over the world! That’s right tremble in fear I’m that powerful AND good looking. Until for some stupid reason (personally I think it was an overdose of the shadow realm) I helped the pharaoh. Ra what was I thinking.
Let’s get another thing straight. The pharaoh is hot. And if he didn’t act like my rod was up his ass (what a thought) I could consider liking him. But we all know that’s not happening. Ever. The day it happens Bakura stops stealing...yeah I didn’t think so either.
Yet another reason not to be writing all of this down. Knowing him he’d steal it just to piss me off somehow. Like when he decided that I would look pretty burning. Oh what an experience I don’t need to get into.
He’s hot too. Almost as hot as me, but it’s ok that he’s not I’m tough to overcome. You know I can hear him laughing now. I don’t think that was funny. It’s true. I’m hot...right..I mean of course I am. d**n You Voices Get Out Of My Head!
Anyways, he was a good partner but I think he needs to get those issues of his checked out. Seriously, ever hear of bloodlust? Yeah the guy goes crazy over it. I’m surprised he’s not locked up with Anzu or something. Hold on momentarily and let me gag. I think that would just make him suffer more and no one know matter what they’ve done deserves that as a punishment.
Think, I’ve been in that girl’s mind. I know that’s more horrifying than...anything. There really wasn’t anything too take over either. I swear how did Yugi stand her. Oh that’s right...he’s nice. (Please tell me you caught a hint of sarcasm there).
Ok maybe I should’ve thought this out. I mean who writes in a journal under a tree? Do you know of the bad things in this world? To start off lets think of the ants. I mean you all thought squirrels were bad but apparently you haven’t been bit by an ant. They’re vicious! I mean I can’t even have a picnic without being attacked by red ants and having black ones steal my food. It’s a personal battle.
Wait a minute is that the mutt (stole it from Kaiba give all credit to him). Haha! It is, this is so great. Look at him trying to act tough. I think it’s funny especially since he’s a few trees down watching Seto who’s on the bench below reading...a romance novel. I’m not even going to comment on that.
I think Seto has some weird kink fantasies though. Come on, he nicknamed Jou pup. Tell me that doesn’t have a hidden meaning. I thought so.
Drop!
Drop!
Drop!
Drop!
I’m sure you can all guess what’s happening. A dreadful little thing known as rain. Oh yes I’m just so thrilled since Isis dropped me off and won’t be back until much later. Of course I could’ve drove to if I wasn’t staring at Honda’s hair making me crash into a road block. Seriously though his hair is something to stare at.
Drop!
I get the message I need to find somewhere to go. Alright think fast, let’s show those red heads there is more to a blonde than the word like.
Hmm, well running in the rain sure isn’t fun...wait a minute oh great the Game Shop.
Drop!
I hate the people up there sometime. Better yet they hate me. No I refuse to. Stop you legs. Curse You!
Sadly, one of things I’m thinking of is how Jou and that tree are doing.
Drop!
Fine I’m shutting the book now.
xxx
